Kids, Money and TV
August 14th, 2009I’m a finance and engineering guy, not a child psychologist. Also, I like to blog about investing, and I realize that’s what you expect to read about from me. Nevertheless, the above three topics converged at the Schulz home earlier this summer. And because we found something that has worked very well with our situation, I thought I’d diverge from my usual blog and share our situation and solution with you.
Our children, two girls ages 5 and 7, would watch TV 12 hours a day if we let them. No, we don’t let them do that, but it’s a draw that we were constantly fighting and I didn’t like the amount of time they were spending in front of the TV. Do you ever deal with this situation?
Then, after returning from a week at family camp in June I had a major clash with my 7 year old about watching TV instead of doing what I had asked (helping unload the SUV). As a result, I banned both children from the TV for a week, both as punishment and to give me time to think about the situation.
While I thought about the situation I considered four things:
1) Modifying our approach to TV management
2) Banning the TV for the summer
3) Banning the TV period, except for family DVDs
4) Dropping our TV satellite subscription
Pam strongly disliked 2-4, as she uses the TV to sometimes keep their attention while fixing dinner or doing other household chores. If it were up to me, I would have pursued option number 4. I don’t like the TV and I really don’t like writing a check to the satellite company every month. No, we’re not going broke, but I have no value for 99% of what’s on TV.
In addition to thinking about it personally, I consulted several of the elder members of our church for their thoughts on the situation. What did we come up with, and more importantly, how well has it worked? Bottom line: it’s worked beautifully, better than both Pam and I would have expected. It’s very simple, cheap and everyone is happy. Yes, I realize that the same thing doesn’t work for everyone and every situation, but since this has worked so well and since it concerns money, I thought I’d share it with you.
What did we do? We told our girls that if they made their beds and picked up their room by 10:00 a.m. in the morning we’d pay them 50 cents. Additionally, they could earn 50 cents, and possibly a bit more, every day of the summer by applying themselves at the daily learning time. For example, Megan, our 7 year old, generally gets a penny for every math problem she does.
However, if they want to watch TV, they pay me 50 cents for a half hour program, with a limit of two programs a day. Wow, did it ever create the behavior we wanted.
Almost every day now they’re quick in the morning for me to inspect their room. (Yes, although we have a four bedroom house, we’re making them share a room at this point in their lives to encourage sharing and getting along skills.) After the inspection I pay them each 50 cents, assuming they’ve done their job.
Then, later in the day, when they want to watch TV, they get me or Pam and dutifully pay us 50 cents for a half hour slot. And since they know they’re limited to two 30 minute slots a day, they’re careful about how and when they spend their limited resources. Hence, they’re also learning about limited resources and sacrifices.
Of course, I was hoping they’d forego TV and keep their ~$1 a day. I’ve got the 7 year old to think about this and the number of dollars she could save in a month makes her head spin. However, she can’t yet resist the daily temptation to watch her two programs. But she occasionally gives serious thought to the saving idea.
It has also been neat to see how truthful they are about the 30 minutes and not trying to bend or argue with the rules. We’re far from perfect parents, but Pam has done a yeoman’s work here.
As we move through parenthood I’m finding that parenting is like investing in equities: two steps forward and one step back, while also being fun, rewarding and work. Hence, I just thought I’d share this with you since it does concern the topic of money.
What do you think of our situation and solution? I’m interested to hear what you think. I’m also interested to hear your thoughts about this occasional divergence from the normal investing topic.
Thank you for your comments, and please have a super weekend!
Rod
9 Responses to “Kids, Money and TV”
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Hi Rod,
I myself got rid of cable and do not watch TV. It has been that way for many years. I still have a TV and a DVD player and watch the occasional movie. We also have a Wii but it rarely gets played.
My son, when he is at my house (Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and a stray weekday here and there) does not watch TV at all. He can get a movie from the library or video store but only gets an hour per day, like your kids, unless we are watching a movie together or we have company.
It is the same with the computer and video games…one hour/day. He gets a half an hour here and there and extra time if he does some reading or the weather is bad and I am super busy.
We always had limited TV, computer and video game time in my house but there was often inconsistency. When it all became official, he cried and did not want to come over anymore. He was like a junkie or alcoholic needing a fix.
From what he says, he gets nearly unlimited TV, computer, video game time at his mom and step dad’s if his chores and homework are done, so it was rough on him the first couple of weeks.
Now he sees the how TV, video games and the internet can negatively affect his brain and how the commercials brainwash him. He has little interest other than renting movies here and there which is fine because we choose them, watch them and discuss them afterwards TOGETHER.
Another rule is that we do not watch the same thing twice.
I think your system is ingenious. It addresses multiple issues and teaches multiple lessons.
As to you diverging…I think it is important that you do. People will be able to connect more deeply with you on a personal level which will result in them feeling closer to you and trusting you on a professional level. You don’t want to be some stuffed suit, “rich white guy”, etc that is out of touch with normal people. It will help you stand out. It lends a nice balance…You are a leading authority on investing and a human being they can relate to!
Great post. Glad to see you back in saddle!
Anthony
http://www.anthonylemme.com
Anthony,
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Like anything that’s generally good, the system took some thought and most importantly, some input from others.
Stay tuned as more good stuff will come!
Thanks,
Rod
Rod,
Many years ago, a door to door saleman came to offer cable TV to me. I simply told him the truth: I was stuggling to find time with my toddler son, let alone watching TV. I wouldn’t want it installed EVEN IF it were free.
Also long time ago, I read about a story in which the dad came up with a cycling device that powered the TV. So if his kid wanted to watch TV, thkid himself needed to paddle hard & quick enough to generate enough electicity to get the TV going. Obviously, this cut down the TV watching time dramatically!
John Ho
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion
Rod,
The diversion is good. It adds a personal touch to your blog.
Regarding the idea you used with your daughters, it sounds like a great one. In fact, I may try that one out with my kids. We are going through the same t.v. viewing battle you went through.
Health, Fitness — Darryl Pace
Fitness Product Review
Anthony,
Just another thought:
TV battle is now “outdated” by the internet access with the computer.
Last week, I attended a talk by a cyber space bullying expert who said in every suicide case, all the children involved in suich sad cases ALL have thier computer with internet access at THEIR bedroom. She advised the parents to have the computer & the internet access in OPEN areas here the cyber activites are no secret at all.
I think it’s a great idea. Before, to have a TV at your child’s bedroom was(and still is)terrible. Now to let your child to have COMPUTER with INTERNET ACCESS in their bedroom is terrible.
Another reason against wireless broadband connection, apart from health issues.
John Ho
Numerology Expert Birthday Numeroscope
Numerology Expert Helps Understanding Personality for Better Influence & Persuasion
John,
I think you make some good points. It’s interesting, and sad, that all of the suicide cases had a computer and the internet in their room.
Thanks,
Rod
Hi Rod,
I like your capitalism and economics lesson for them.
I am not a parent of young children, however I do have to steward my OWN brain.
A few additional thoughts, not that what you did was “wrong” or “bad” or anything. This, as you demonstrated, is all about CONSCIOUSLY choosing TV, not mindlessly watching or allowing your children to watch.
TV is a tool. It is a message delivery device. What messages do I want to feed my brain? I have made a point of using Netflix or borrowing or collecting the DVDs of TV shows I want to watch. I do enjoy classic original series Andy Griffith. Better than watching it with all the commercials right now.
I also want to feed my brain with DVDs from Kevin’s Influence Bootcamp and other such seminars.
I attended a seminar in Las Vegas in late April or early May and some families had young children with them. The producer of the seminar indeed commented on their being there and thanked the parents. The engineer who was the man upon whose family the original book and movie, “Cheaper By The Dozen,” is based used to read his children engineering and other topics when they were, as I vaguely recall, in the crib. When asked by people pointing out that the young ones could not possibly understand it, he responded something along the lines of, “But when they do hear it when they are cognizant, they’re brains will have already been prepared to hear it.” Which I thought was very interesting.
There are other subscriptions for TV as well.
BJU offers one.
And there is another Christian one as well, Angel something.
Which I just point out because seeing we have some alternatives expands our own minds and our own thinking.
One family I knew at my church in San Francisco would play audio CDs of Bible reading and their very young ones, yes, not yet understanding, were having their brains’ neuropathways and tastes acclimatized unto wanting, hearing, and being comfortable with that taste rather than others.
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Single Baby Boomer Dating Success Expert
Great idea! I banned all forms of TV (we watched DVD’s on computer once or twice a week), playstation and toy guns until my children where 9 and 10. This worked and we are a tight knit family. However I did noticed it affected my children at school since they were different from most and were regarded as “poor” – we live in a wealthy area so not having a TV was unheard of for most people.
Also, when children came to play they seemed lost without any TV or other electronic stimulation. I had to show, yes SHOW these children how to play games etc. Shocking to experience! One of them just stopped coming over because….their was no TV so he missed his favourite shows!!!
So eventually we incorporated one into our life again. TV doesn’t prepare children for real world situations and there is very little, if any value involved aside from sucking time away.
Keri Eagan
AlternativeHealing*Insight
Keri,
I like your idea about playing games. Although they won’t admit it, my daughters would much rather do that than watch TV. If it were up to me, we’d get rid of the TV and I’d get my periodic Duke and Kansas basketball fixes from the local Big John’s Ice House.
Thanks,
Rod